John Mayer has either hit the lottery or Punked us all.

And by lottery, I mean Jen Aniston. And by hit, I mean business time.

I have been trying to figure out the je ne sais pas quality that he posseses that lures hot women to him like flies to a Venus Fly Trap but I just haven’t been able to figure it out yet. Sure he’s attractive and seems funny and has one or two songs I can tolerate but he also seems like a total douche and really??? A guy who can’t perform without making a series of O-face-meets-colonoscopy? And he dated Jessica Simpson.

I could never take a guy seriously who dated Jessica Simpson.

I mean, did you see Nick and Jessica: Newlyweds? Cause I did.

It’s official (sorta): Ryan Seacrest is the new Queen of All Media

MSNBC is reporting that Ryan Seacrest is in talks to replace Larry King on “Larry King Live” around year’s end. King told The New York Times in April 2007 that Seacrest would be his first choice to take over the show when the time came.

So we can add yet another Talk Show Host gig to his resume of American Idol Host, Radio personality, Red Carpet Host, Emmy Host, E! News Anchor, television show(s) producer, and the Crest Toothpaste spokeswhore. Have I left something out? (Probably).

Geez. And here I thought Brangelina and their multi-cultural babies were everywhere. Slackers.

Holy crap Matt Damon scared me. And many mothers and children too.

Somewhere in Illinois, the neighborhood watch is going crazy…

Why is it that everytime Matt Damon has a super-serious/anything-to-do-with-the-government role he takes that to mean “grow really creepy facial hair, don glasses and try to perfect that perv-next-door” look? Seriously, he looks like a Child Molester/Serial Killer combo. I kinda feel bad for his wife. She married Good Will Hunting and got Mr.Spalding…

Matt is sporting this incredibly hot look for his role in The Informant, a true story about a a man called Mark Whitacre (Damon) who was part of the lysine price-fixing conspiracy that took place back in the mid-1990s. Its shooting in Decatur, Illinois.

Back on the rumor-mill.

After a brief hiatus (okay, okay, it was a month), I’m back.
After all, no silly job should keep me from doing what I love.

Mainly, investigating the phenomina that is Miley Cyrus.

If she wanted to take over the world all “Children Of The Corn” style…she totally could.

WTF is this Peter Petrelli?!

Added to youtube a few days ago with this is the description: In the vein of the UKDSC masterpiece “Drunk Lion” Dino DeMilio inspired this masterpiece and Milo Directed. Russ was the production assistant and Lucie provided the bunny ears. As we all know Milo does not drink and he is only IMITATING a crazy bunny/ or a drunk lion.

Words prettymuch escape me. See for yourself.

This is BS. No really, it is.

Unless you fell off the face of the earth or are some place where you are shunned from all media contact, you have probably heard that Britney Spears will be on an episode of How I Met Your Mother next Monday. All I have to say is, Why CBS why?
That, and, she plays a nympho who likes to shop alot. Wow. Maybe her actions the last year were just her going all method on us. Good job, Brit! You had the world fooled!

Looks like someone’s retoucher took the day off.

I hate to post this cause its Madonna and she is awesome but man…on her new single Hard Candy, she has a serious case of Old Face, Hot Body going on. She literally looks like Merlose did in the America’s Next Top Model shoot from 3 seasons ago when she did a circus sideshow shoot…as Old Face, Hot Body.

High college kids around the world will loooove this.

BS new video does the work for them. So they can stop muting Cartoon Network/Animal Planet while listening to Gorillaz.

Crackheads Unite Edition: Pete Doherty, Drug Counselor.

Hotness Pete Doherty, Babyshambles talented frontman/junkie spokesmodel has a new reality show: visiting families in the housing projects and work with heroin addicted youth.

A source said, “Pete really hopes to be able to use his own experiences to help these youths. Hopefully they will be inspired by his visit.”

Yeah, I’ll bet they will be inspired. He can teach them exactly how to get arrested time after time for drugs, violate parole and somehow not ever do long stints in jail and he can show them how to do their girl friends hair in the “Wino-weave” to smuggle in junk.

He will be their God.

Paris Hilton Punk’d the media. Ashton not included.

Even though I was really busy last week, I’m pretending the reason I didnt post this cause I’m psychic, which we all know I am at times. I did think this shaman bit looked a bit staged and that was part of it, the other part? Sometimes I get a little tired of our favorite celebutard.

You may have seen this little ditty over the net last week where Paris met with a Shaman. It it seemed fave (even for her) thats because it was. It was filmed as part of Ashton Kutchers new show for E! Pop Fiction where celebrities strike back at the media by staging fake stuff to see how to press jumps on it (Ashton isnt actually on this show though). Pretty clever idea, especially considering it was actually originally Anna Nicoles idea. Say what?

Turns out the concept of the show came from Anna Nicole Smith….THREE years ago!!!
The show was to be called Celebrities Strike Back, and it was pitched by Anna and her former attorney/manager/lover Howard K. Stern.
Pop Fiction seems almost identical to the treatment that Anna registered with the Writers Guild back in 2004.

Anna and Howard even pitched the show and sent the treatment to E! president Ted Harbert along with two top execs at E!. The treatment states, “…what happens if Anna Nicole Smith and other celebrities turn the tables and capitalize off of the overzealous media? What if the next big supposed scandal is not a scandal at all? What if everything is staged, but the media (and the public) don’t know it? Anna Nicole and other celebrity guests take aim at the media and push all the limits.”

To add a slap in the face, Howard even spoke with E! just two months ago, on behalf of the estate of course, and pitched the show again. This time, with Larry Birkhead doing the opening prank, and later hosting the show. But he was turned down.